Christmas is complicated in our
combined family, perhaps for all families as we all try and see as many family
members as possible, pursue our personal dreams. I have three sons and a
daughter-in-law and my partner has three sons, a daughter and a small
granddaughter. Two of his children are in serious long-term relationships and
the youngest has recently taken the initiative and is engaged. I now have a
relationship with people for which there is no clear definition - my partner's
son's fiancée visited over Christmas and as for her extended family, both her
parents are divorced and re-married to people with families of their own.
Modern life is complicated.
I was talking about this recently in my weekly French class; my teacher is a
French national and she and her partner came over to England about 10 years ago
and settled in East Anglia, running a very successful cafe with delicious
home-made food and welcoming fires, all very much in the French tradition and
very popular too! I can drop in for a cup of coffee and a croissant before
heading upstairs for some serious French conversation. She tells me that the
French too have no words for this complex interweaving of family ties but
simply have the same name for in-laws and step-relations. Thus my
daughter-in-law, my step-daughter and step-daughter-in-law-to-be are all my
belles filles, my beautiful daughters, and my step-sons etc are my beaux
fils. So they are all my beautiful children!
And it was wonderful to see so many of them over Christmas.