Saturday, 4 October 2014

Sadness


Relentless rain is falling today and I am feeling sad.  End of summer sad, back to reality sad but mostly sad for my father-in-law.  We should have been in Wales with him this week, enjoying a family get-together, but a stroke has intervened and taken his independence away from him.  At 97 he was doing so well, driving himself around locally, swimming regularly and having some social life. My partner is with him now, trying to sort out his end-of-life care, always a difficult and fraught time as I know only too well, having been there so recently with my Mum.

So, I'm thinking of him now and hoping that things will come together for him this week, that he can leave hospital and move into the next, the final stage of his long, long life.  Hoping that we can all somehow make it as easy as possible for him.


Here's some autumn flowers for John and beautiful piece of music, exquisitely played by Yo-Yo Ma.






27 comments:

  1. A difficult time when your parents are infirm and elderly. My best wishes for your father-in-law - that he is able to leave hospital soon and he has a loving care home where the staff will treat him with dignity and kindness.

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    1. Thank you Molly. That is kind of you - my hopes for him too.

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  2. My wish for you and your family, especially your father-in-law, is much like Molly's. We've been lucky so far with each of the three parents we've lost, one by one, that the care has been so stellar. Palliative and geriatric care workers have so much to teach the rest of us, and good ones make all the difference. I hope you find that with/for your father-in-law's last stage.

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    1. Thank you for the kind words. Excellent care is what we all hope for, for our loved ones and eventually for ourselves. I too, hope it will be there for John as it was for my Mum and glad you had a good experience with your own family.

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  3. It is always so difficult to say good bye. How fortunate that your father-in-law had a long life and in the end he will be taken care of a loving and dignified way.

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    1. He has been lucky so far and has always managed to bounce back and keep his independence, but he has lost so much ground now so all we can do is try and find the best possible care for him for however long he has left.

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  4. Marianne, a very touching post. The fact that your dear father-in-law has had a long life, is something to be thankful for. It must be comforting to know that he is with his family, and they will do their very best for him at this stage in his life.

    Poppy

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    1. He is very, very lucky with his family - so much support (and so many descendants - his latest great grandchildren are 9 month old boy triplets) and they are all making huge efforts to spend as much time with him as possible.

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  5. A very sad and stressful time for your family. I hope all goes well in planning for him.

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    1. So important to get it right for him, Barb. Thank you for your visit and kind words.

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  6. Hope your father in law will recover soon Marianne! My father and mother in law both had a stroke last year, but they are both well again. Thank you for your kind comment on my blog too.

    Take care!

    Madelief

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    1. Glad to hear your parents have recovered so well Madelief. I would love to think John will, but he is in his late 90s and is so frail now, after this latest incident that it's hard to see him making a recovery - time will tell. Thank you for visiting.

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  7. Best wishes to you and yours, Marianne. xo

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  8. This resonates with me so strongly. I hope you find the care you wish for and that your father in law's end of life time is as peaceful as my own FIL's was earlier this summer.

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    1. Such a stressful time, as you well know Elizabeth. Some family friction around the best way to go about this, but thankfully John has made his own decision - the right one in our opinion - and we hope he will be in a more settled environment by the end of the week, which will be a huge relief all round. Thank you for the good wishes and I am so glad your FIL had a peaceful ending. Just what we all hope for our loved ones.

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  9. I remember all too well how difficult this time of life is with parents and inlaws. I'm sorry for your family woes. Wishing you and yours the strength to get through it.

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    1. It is difficult Hilary, so difficult. Thanks for the kind words and the visit x

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  10. It is a very difficult time - I have been there too and you all have my sympathies.

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    1. This strikes a cord with so many people - it's such a universal experience and as you say, such a difficult time. Thank you for visiting.

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  11. I am sorry that you have this sorrow hanging over you.
    It’s one of the hardest things in life, to make arrangements for a parent to be cared for by strangers.
    I wish you well.

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    1. There are no easy answers Friko, but he's in a good place and becoming resigned to his changed circumstances. We all spend as much time with him as we can,given the usual issues of time and distance, and were there this weekend. Thanks for the kind wishes.

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  12. It's nice to meet you too, Marianne, and I'm sorry to find you at a sad time. I hope it is all as easy as these things can ever be.

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    1. Thank you Mise, and nice to meet you too!

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  13. Thinking of you and your partner and your father-in-law's family.

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  14. Oh, such a sad time. Stay strong. x

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