Tuesday, 1 May 2007

Birthdays

He turned 16 the other day, the 10lb baby boy I expelled from my body on a whiff of gas and air after a short, vicious labour all those years ago. We gazed at each other, shocked at where we had just been, surprised finally to see each other. Separate. Different.  Other.

To be cradled in my arms, to kiss his downy new-baked head, to hold him to my breast, wince, relax and whisper "I will keep you safe."

17 comments:

  1. A moving recollection & tribute. Our three are so much closer to that starting point - Maisie's 1-year-old in 3 weeks - & recall of those first few moments is acute still.

    I hope his mates don't read it, though..!

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  2. He tells me he has absolutely zero interest in my blog. He isn't supposed to be able to access it, but I expect he can. But it is my blog and surely I should be able to say what I want to?

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  3. marianne, I am not child friendly but that is beautifully put.

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  4. Thank you M&M. I wasn't planning to blog today, but it just sort of popped into my head when I was busy with other things and had to be born.

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  5. Lovely expression of the feelings I remember well, Marianne. Belated Happy Birthday Greetings to your son and well done to you for keeping him safe.

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  6. My sons are in their forties now, and successful barristers who have left me far behind.

    But I still recall every detail of their births - and often wonder what became of those two little boys with their Sixties mop-cuts ....?

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  7. My eldest was 16 on 29th March - much to his disgust I am so proud of him and love him to death.

    I can still remember his birth - it was a Good Friday and I was the only one in the delivery rooms. 10 trainee doctors came in and they stood at the head of the bed -'pant' the midwife said and 10 trainee doctors started to pant. My son was born to my hysterical laughter!!!

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  8. Thank you Isobel. I am trying still to keep him safe, but also to let him go.

    Beatrice - what does happen to those charming little boys we once had? Mine are all still lovely, but I find it hard to see their smaller selves in them.

    Secretary - I hope they also pushed for you! The loving never stops does it, even when they are pushing you away, as they must do to survive.

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  9. Wow, a boy of 16...is he taller than you? I often wonder if my boy will grow taller then me.

    It seems strange when he loves me so much now, that one day he'll detest me and grunt at me...do you think that's inevitable?

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  10. No, No, No and No! He will never detest you although he may grunt at you. Boys are such softies really and I should know, I have three of them. The oldest, shockingly is 25 tomorrow. Another birth to relive and that the most guelling of them all.

    He is the tallest at 6'2, the middle one is a tiddler at 5'10 and the youngest is vying to catch them up and surpass them and looks set to succeed. I have to reach up now to kiss them, but kiss them I do ... as for hugs! Teenage boys need lots of love, you just have to be a bit more subtle.

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  11. Dear Marianne,

    That is the most beautiful description! I just love this post. It is perfect. You are gifted.

    DM

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  12. Ahhhh, I'm very reassured!
    Thank-you,
    Pigx

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  13. I too enjoyed that very much. Of course he wouldn't though. Something about those early moments will always be unattainable for men. But he will understand a little better when he's about 40!

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  14. Thanks for visiting and nice to meet you both, Dulwichmum and Stayathomedad. Will check you both out as soon I have a moment to spare, but glad you liked it. I had intended to write about my son as he is now, but that is what came up.

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  15. actually, that's brilliant. Thank you. I'm going to pass that on to a couple of people.

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