Tuesday, 2 September 2014

Empty Nest (and garden flowers)


My oldest son visited at the weekend with his new young wife, the love of his life now, his lodestar, filling the house with their energy and optimism, eating more than I could possibly imagine, playing with the dog, walking, laughing, chatting, loving, sharing.

Then they were gone, as though they had never been here at all, the house a thousand times more empty than before they arrived.

And I sat for a while unusually quite alone, absorbing the silence, the stillness, had a cup of coffee, walked the dog, picked some flowers and waited for the emptiness to pass and my life to settle back into where it is now and for that to be enough.  

More than enough.

16 comments:

  1. That nest when emptied takes some adjustment. But, it's so sweet when they visit. Also, I find time alone is very precious.

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    1. It certainly does Barb, and I love it when the kids come and stay and miss them when they go although I am not sure I could ever live with my grown up children again. Like you, time alone is also precious. As all things, balance is the key.

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  2. I have just taken my son - and his girlfriend - back to Uni. They have decided to live together in his little flat, but although he hasn't lived at home during the school term since he was 15 (he had to board away) I now feel that today, he has finally left home. Gulp.

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    1. Big deep breath! It is a difficult adjustment, although hopefully he will come back often enough to satisfy the maternal instinct. We are in that in-between stage when the young are in full flight and rarely visit and I did prefer it when they were in their late teens/early 20s and came back more frequently. Grandchildren are apparently the answer to this for the maternally inclined...

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  3. You said that all so beautifully. I know that feeling, but after a good nights sleep and a cup of tea, I am OK in my solitude.

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    1. Thank you! It passes and normal life reasserts itself soon enough.

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  4. Lovely posy! Does it seem like a whirlwind when they visit?! The best of it is that you can look forward to seeing them soon again! Live, laugh, laugh Dear!
    Hugs,

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  5. It is a whirlwind and very full on when the kids come home. Much as I miss them when they have gone, I also know I could not do this full time again!

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  6. I still have one coming and going which is lovely when he is here but his wings are very fully stretched and his flights longer and longer. It is very destabilising, but as you say, always, balance is the key. I'm not quite there yet, especially when I see the empty rooms. But my new adjustment is a lovely one as you know.

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    1. Lucille, I do recognise that - the flights getting longer and longer and the feeling of no longer being the hub of family life after so many years of full-on parenting. It's always hardest just after they leave, but you are so lucky to have a beautiful granddaughter! I look forward to seeing more of her.

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  7. Between my four, and with us living within two or three hours of all of them, I rarely go more than 3 weeks without seeing at least one. And our nest has been empty for 8 or 9 years already. I love their visits, but I also love the quiet after they've gone, with no compunctions at all...sometimes I do feel a bit selfish admitting that, but I find I'm full on when they're with me and the dial needs to be turned back down for some recuperation! ;-) that said, I'm heading over to a daughter's today to help out with her new wee daughter....

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    1. I know I have a bad case of empty nest syndrome, but that is mainly because I don't see enough of my three sons, and they are very bad at phoning! However, like you,I do also love the time and space I have gained and could never do the Mum thing again. Roll on grandchildren I guess.

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  8. Oh Marianne, I know that feeling so well. It's bittersweet. Both of my sons were here at the same time, a couple of weeks ago.. for the first time in about a year that I had the two of them together. I hear you. Knowing your kids are happy makes it all way more than okay.

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    1. As everything in life, Hilary, it is all about getting the balance right and for me, that has not quite happened yet. But everything has it's time and place and there is much to be said for this chapter of life!

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  9. Marianne,

    My daughter has been living and working in my hometown, (Toronto, Canada), for almost two years now, due to lack of employment opportunities here in Greece, and both her father and I miss her terribly, despite daily telephone calls and the occasional Skype session. Of course we want our children to be happy, confident and independent, but having them close by, as you were blessed to have experienced recently, is precious.

    Poppy

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    1. I hope you manage to meet up occasionally Poppy - time spent together is so precious.

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